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Do you ever reflect on where you are, how far you have come, or where you are going? This is one reason I love keeping prayer journals, because I get to see God unfolding, rebuilding, and restoring my life. It’s full of heartache, trauma, abuse, neglect, yet redeemed with a deeper love that hand picked me from the trenches.
I’ve gone through hell, but because of it, I see how much I am nothing without faith and perseverance. And not a whimsical kind of faith either that you plaster your car with bumper stickers to just appear like it, but a faith I hope and pray people see by how I live (mistakes and all!).
We all have our stories of heartache and loss, but I’ve learned you have to love yourself, your family, and God enough to come out transformed on the other side of it. But here is a story that makes today a monumental day because of five years ago I met the love of my life, and one year ago we lost a love of ours.
(Please join me in the Love Challenge for a different perspective on moving forward, more here: How To Make Your New Years Resolution Succeed THIS Time)
One Year Ago
After sharing about going into labor four weeks after the baby’s heart stopped beating, it was then I could hear how others grieved.
How they shared their loss also helped me through my own grieving process. No matter what life may throw your way, ask God to keep your heart soft, never allow it to be hardened.
For nothing can grow in a hardened heart.
It’s easy to wish away the pain, except that is exactly where He meets us the most. And that is where I am now. In God’s timing, my husband and I look forward to starting a family soon, but for right now, it’s allowing space to simply grieve.
“Some of the things that helped me grieve healthily is to quit holding back tears. The more I cried, the more I faced reality of the situation, the more I talked about it, and let it flow with people who love me, the better and better I felt.” – Carrie.
In less than a week, at least a dozen friends have shared their own story. I must admit that hearing their stories are helping me grieve my own. So thank you, to each of you that has shared and encouraged me.
“My miscarriage really helped me learn to trust Him. Funny how that works, huh? I don’t think I even slightly fathomed the concept of ‘in my weakness, He is strong” until then. I’ve never felt so broken or dead inside, but he brought me back to life. And now, when I wonder about that little life, I like to imagine him or her snuggling up and reading books with Grandpa in Heaven. It brings me peace and makes me smile.”- Beth
The tears began streaming to hear Beth’s faith; to hear how God brought her through a time where she had never felt so broken or dead, but then felt brought back to life. Many of us get stuck in that place of being broken or feeling dead, but don’t work through trusting to come out on the other side, and simply remain there, in that place of untrust, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness. The list goes on. But to hear my old friend I haven’t seen in years share the LIFE of coming out by trusting Him.
I remember years ago asking God to show me the beauty in suffering, and now He is showing me the beauty through grief. The stories I am hearing, the feelings I am feeling all may hurt, but all so beautiful.
I want to be in the presence of God and walk through the place of brokenness and grief instead of skipping over it.
“It is just a pain that we have to go through. You can’t go around it and you can’t shortcut it.”- Maggie
Maggie encouraged me that it was ok to hurt, and it’s ok to love someone you never knew. That grieving for your child is an expression of love.
It is an expression of love to grieve? I never thought about it that way, but continued to help me through my own journey. To simply be ok to grieve.
After many years of walking through inner healing and helping others through theirs, I should know better not to try to skip over this one. The healing power of Jesus is in the present, not trying to fast forward.
Thank you for all your love, prayers, encouragement, and your own stories, for it’s helping us seek God even more. He does have a bigger plan beyond our own and we will not lose faith.
…Five Years Ago
A mutual friend asked me how I felt about blind dates. I responded with, “Sure! As long as he loves the Lord!”
And he does.
And then I married him.
And right now as I type this, I look down at my big belly, ready to have a baby any day, and thank God for the moments of reflecting, bringing me through the heartache and grief to now enjoy this little miracle.
All in His time, so keep your faith. You know, the non-bumper sticker kind of faith.
Wherever you are in your journey, don’t be hardened for nothing can grow in a hardened heart. Respond in love and know it’s ok to grieve, it’s ok to get counseling (I talk to counselors, coaches, and spiritual directors all the time!), and it’s ok to be raw. By going through it, you come out transformed on the other side.
Would you like to do the Love Challenge with me to learn to love yourself better? Here is a list of ideas, plus my very own list. I’d love you to join. Read here: Love Challenge
10 Things to Do When You Hurt
Let the healing begin….
- Love yourself enough to heal.
- Don’t cover it up or be hardened by it.
- Talk to someone to begin healing process.
- Keep a journal, pray, grow in faith, and express yourself.
- Keep up a routine like walking the dog or exercise.
- Avoid things that ‘numb’ the pain like drugs or alcohol because it only makes it worse.
- Be soft hearted and know it’s ok to grieve.
- Be willing to grow from it.
- Take all the time you need to process.
- Talk to a professional when you are ready.
I would love to hear where you are in your journey, share in the comments.
Hi! I'm Bailey! I am a national athlete in two sports, passionate about natural living, and even more passionate about getting and giving the MOST out of this short life. I massage, coach, compete, and share all my secrets here. Enjoy!
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